Every day I’m tested with my mind challenging the decisions that I make. It’s like there’s a competition in here for which part of Tammy will be the winner, will it be the ‘insecure, not so confident in her abilities Tammy’, or will it be the ‘I got this, I can do anything I put my mind to Tammy’. It’s a constant battle, and since the more confident side of me has been taking over, that insecure little girl inside of me is clawing like you have no idea to get attention!
I have these huge ideas flowing through me, easily put to paper, but not so easily executed. Then I chicken out and find other ways to get my creative fix. I wish I knew how to calm the insecurities in my heart so that the bright intelligent being that I know I am, can flourish to be a fully developed vision. Then I can hold my head up high and say, that was worth the fight!
I just have to push myself into taking a leap and actually just doing what I’ve been planning. So what if it doesn’t work out, right? Winning is about taking a step forward even if it is the tiniest of steps, but a step forward needs to be taken.
This post is more for me than for anyone else, to put out there that this is real and its time to put the little girl insecurities away and find my wings to fly. Also just to remind myself that its all in my head and if I really want to overcome it I can. By acknowledging the battle and choosing who I want to be NOW rather than who I used to be or who I wish I could be in the future. Allowing myself the room to breath and to focus on what I can do at this moment to take a step forward, no matter how small. Remembering that nothing is easy when you try to do it alone and there is always a positive in finding like minded individuals to get involved in your cause, or program, because its always better when you have a team that you can rely on and that is on your side.
Sometimes its important to realize that another persons strength can support the areas you find are weakness or struggles in your vision and putting together a team is sometimes vital to the survival of your vision. Because a vision left unattended will eventually die, unless we bring it to life by verbally declaring that this is your plan and then holding yourself accountable for making it a reality.
I have just motivated myself… I hope somehow this will help you too.
Live life with love.