It appears this transformation I am currently in the middle of has reached a comfortable momentum. I genuinely struggled to get the push I needed to lift off the ground. Who knew that the weight of my old habits would be so heavy! But… I did the work and have finally made the progress mentally and took the action physically to get this process going.

What process am I on about? The process of living to my fullest potential, where my life doesn’t feel like a nightmare every time I wake up. Instead I wake up looking forward to the day and what it will bring. I really did struggle to get myself back to a point of pushing my bad habits out the way. Smoking for one, the worst one, I finally got my mind right and have let this stupid habit go. It’s definitely the worst one because it affected my health and my energy and limited me physically. Look, I wasn’t a smoker smoker where I was buying packets of cigarettes a day , I was more like a packet a week kind of smoker, because I had stopped before and I know the benefits of cleaning out my system from all the junk that comes with smoking. Anyway… Now that I’m well on my way and with this rotten habit of mine behind me, I can start looking into the next challenge to tackle and that is my fitness … this I’ve neglected terribly during the last few months, but I’m going to get cracking on my walks, starting small and building myself back to running a bit. My body definitely needs it, and my soul is craving for it too. Its funny how when you are stressed out or something affects me negatively I start the habit that pulls me down even further and stop the one thing that actually helps me. This is definitely a type of self sabotage. I see it clearly. The great thing about me making these changes this time is that nobody has told me that I have to do it. Nobody is dragging me out of my house to go for a walk. I’m choosing this all on my own, knowing that the reward is living a lighter life with more energy and clarity because I’m doing the things that I know my body responds well to.

I have also taken a few classes last month to put some healthy information in my head, I did a 5 day course with Jay Shetty and another 5 day course with Peter Sage. I like to mix and match the people I receive information from because I prefer to see the world from all perspectives not just the voice of one person. It helps me to filter out what doesn’t work for me or what doesn’t apply to my dreams and vision for my life, but it also helps me to see how important it is to be true to who I am. Each individual has a message from their own experiences and that message can only be delivered by that individual in their authenticity. Not everyone will receive a message like they wish to but not everybody was meant to. Everyone is on a different level of understanding and each message reaches people on the level that they are on. I love that my eyes have been opened to accepting that my message is not meant to be received by EVERYONE. Only by those that are on the right level of understanding to receive it. The important thing is that I am on the right level of authentically delivering my understanding and what I’ve learnt along the way to you. The key here is sharing myself so that you can see that you don’t have to be perfect to be happy. You can be giving up shitty habits too, and you can be pushing yourself to get off the couch too, because you know you deserve better. It’s all about finding love for yourself in the way that you see fit. What works for me may not work for you, and that is ok. The key is to find those things that push you to be a better you and stop those things that hold you back.

What I know for sure is this. It all starts in your mind. If you do the mental preparation and the work to get yourself going before you even start with the physical process , by the time your mind is ready to launch your body just moves automatically with it. As long as my mind tells me I can’t, then I won’t and as long as my mind treats me like the enemy then then I will remain my own worst enemy. Start with your mind. Listen to your thoughts, make an assessment of how you speak to yourself daily. Therein lies the key to your breakthrough. It’s going to take a long time to rectify what needs to be rectified, but boy oh boy is the feeling of accomplishment worth it once you reach each little milestone! I will never pretend to be perfect, not on this platform, or on any platform. I have tried and failed so many times that I have lost count, but I will never stop trying to be free of trauma, free of bondage and free of the negative voices in my head that keep trying to tell me to sit down when I have so much to say.

My internal transformation is not a pretty sight. It’s a battle of the old me and the new me fighting to the death. It’s ugly and it’s vicious. But I will win this fight or I will die trying and that’s a given because nobody gets out of this one alive. We just have to keep fighting to live the best lives we can, with what we have. We have to see our potential and transform into that version of ourselves because we have a deadline, and our purpose is to leave this world better than the way we found it. Even if it’s in the smallest little contribution. Every little moment counts. It may seem irrelevant but in the greater scheme of things, our small deeds on this world create the momentum for greater things to come and our little push can be the beginning of the unimaginable future for the generations to come. One kind word, one smile, one generous moment, one pep talk, one article, one podcast, one letter one meal, one blanket and the list goes on. If you reach out to help the world in ways you can then the world will reach out to help you. Its an exchange of energy its a give and take. It’s the balance that we keep hearing about.

Transform your life, one day at a time into the life you envision. Live your dreams by becoming who you truly are. Get your mind right, feed it with nourishing thoughts and healthy words to encourage you and help you to lift yourself up, because no matter how many times you fall, you are never falling from the same place. Every time you lift yourself up you have elevated your strength and your understanding and the next time you fall you fall from a different place, and when you get up it will once again take you to an even deeper level of understanding. How important it is not to focus on the falls but instead focus on the lessons you learn and the transformation that comes to you each time you pick yourself up.

You are stronger than you think, you are wiser than you know, and you are doing so much better than you give yourself credit for.

My wish for you is that you see your value even in the darkest times because you are one step away from a transformation. You just have to believe in yourself enough to take it, and for goodness sakes, try to enjoy yourself in the process, have some fun, live, laugh, love and just live in those little moments that pop up in between all the hard work.

Love and light

Tammy – Lynn Murphy