At the start of my birthday month it was time for me to begin an annual assessment on myself. Every year I take the time to look at the year gone by and make an assessment on myself. Have I grown, have I learnt, have I improved or have I regressed. What goals have I achieved that I set the previous year and what is still yet to be achieved or rolled over into this year.

It’ s not a one day exercise. I like to look at my birthday as my reset, my fresh start. that’s why I’m not too phased with New years and what people choose to do with resolutions. I too used to make New years resolutions. I too failed hopelessly at them. I too chose not to make any resolutions at times. There has never been a set standard for me on how to proceed with the new year.

Birthdays are different though. My birthday signifies the start of MY LIFE and the celebration of each year I got to live thereafter. It’ s a day I can reflect on myself and be appreciative of the time I have been given to be on this planet. It symbolizes the achievement of time given to me to spend with loved ones. I used to hate aging. Until I lost my loved ones before their time. Now aging for me is the goal. You want to live, you want to have more birthdays, you want to spend the time you have with your loved ones and your family. I no longer need to cry on my birthday, unless those tears are happy ones. Aging means I get to watch my child grow up. I get to experience teenage hormones in full force as an outsider. I get to learn how to navigate my way through that force of nature that all kids must go through. I want to grow to watch her become a woman, a mother, a wife or whatever she chooses for herself. I just appreciate that I have managed to reach this age and have had the chance to watch these kids grow.

My heart sinks when I see the little ones that have lost a parent. They will never have what most take for granted. They will never know the love that most kids take for granted. So how can I not appreciate my life. How can I not take the time to invest in myself, my mental health, my spiritual health and my physical health. How can I look at those babies that have lost their parent and not do my best to live. not only for my kid, but for whoever needs me to be here. How can I be upset that I have been blessed with almost 43 years of life. Why would I be upset with each year I GET to live and celebrate that life with a birthday. How can I not feel so blessed that I have been given the opportunities that have already crossed my path. Its impossible for me not to.

So the time has come for reflection. and the days have been spent setting new goals and I will continue to do so until the day of action begins. Preparing for my next chapter and patting myself on the back for the achievements that I did manage to accomplish in my 42nd year of life. I’m excited for what’s to come. How about you? How do you feel with each year that passes you by? When was the last time you took the time to stop and assess your life, your choices , your goals, achievements, and even failures. Are you avoiding yourself or are you taking the time to grow and reflect on your choices.

I hope that you no longer see aging as a negative and understand how blessed you are to age. I hope you find the time to make assessments of your choices, your achievements, your failures. If you don’t take the time to learn about you and to understand you, how can you expect others to?

Love and light

Tammy