First Light

Have you ever taken the time to sit and watch the sun rise? The wonder and beauty of how the world turns from darkness into light. the shades of colour spread across the sky boasting in magnificence. The boldness of how it cannot be touched, it cannot be stopped , it cannot fail. The world will brighten up and the sun will rise no matter how much crap you have going on in your life. nothing can stop this moment of wonder each and every day.

Have you ever taken a moment to consider the insignificance of problems and drowned in the beauty that is clearly in front of you instead of drowning in the darkness that you hold inside of you. Have you ever freed yourself from the attachments of struggle and instead held onto the promise of a new day, a new beginning, another chance to be all that you can possibly be. A chance to allow your light to shine through, a chance to give your light the opportunity to brighten the world in a way that no one else can.

Watching the sun rise puts everything into perspective for me. It allows me to feel an abundance of peace, and it put everything into perspective. I try so hard every day to survive, not to give up, not to fail as a human being. Yet everyday that I am not walking in my purpose I feel like I’m not only letting myself down but I’m letting my creator down too. I’m stuck in a world where I’m enslaved by money and I live each day to pay bills that in order to live a life according to the standard created in my own mind that I have to live.

Everything’s changing all the time. Everything’s moving all the time. Nothing waits for me, and even if I feel stuck, I’m really not. The only thing that is stuck is my mind and the way I perceive it all to be. I live in fear of my true potential. I live in wonder of the possibilities, but I never truly reach out to grab any of it do I?

Instead I sit here and soak in the peace of this sunrise that I have been gifted on this very important day. The day we celebrate another year of a very special life. The life of the woman who birthed me, who raised me , who loved me in her own unique way.

As the morning light appeared, I soaked in the calmness of it all and pondered on the point of it all. The struggle, the pain, the darkness… and I realise that it all plays a part in showing me the contrast of each experience. Helping me to appreciate this light is the darkness that I endured before. If not for the darkness , this beautiful light cannot fully be appreciated. This amazing display of colour soaring through the sky, truly boasting in all of its glory and wonder. I find myself smiling, just knowing that nothing else really matters. Just life, love, peace, joy. These are the things that truly give meaning to everything that we have to endure through each and every day. the small moments of light, the small moments of joy. makes it all worth my time and my efforts.

Happy birthday to my mama. thank you for giving me life. Thank you for taking the time to raise me as best you could. For teaching me everything you knew and for trying to understand me as I grow into myself no matter how great our differences are. I know It hasn’t been an easy road. I know I haven’t been an easy daughter. But you never stopped loving me, even through the darkest of times. I celebrate you, I celebrate your life. For without you there is no me. Life has not been too easy on you, on us, but our strength as women have always found light in every dark situation. I celebrate you strong beautiful woman of light.

Love

Tammy

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4 comments

  1. This is a loving tribute to your mother Tammy. And I share your love for pausing to appreciate the wonders of nature. I rarely wake for sunrise so I tend to enjoy sunsets, rain showers, snow, spring, and so many more ordinary treats from nature. May you continue to appreciate and share the light.

    Liked by 1 person

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