This weekend was full of love for me. I have adopted a kitty to add to the love in our home and I also got to see so many faces from abroad that I have not seen in the longest time. My home is coming together and soon it will be what I envision it to be. I am blessed and I am full of gratitude.
I like to take the time to reflect on the journey that has passed when new paths begin to forge in front of me. It’s rewarding to look back and appreciate the ups and the downs. The hardest part of my last year is having to let go of so many things in order to make room for more in my life. I realise the importance of not only decluttering your physical space but also your mental and spiritual space, and letting go of what no longer serves you and your journey. This is not the easiest task to do, but it is an important one. I know for sure now that what is meant to be in your life will be in your life. Who is meant to be in your life will be in your life. Friendships that are true never really leave, they change shapes and forms but they never really leave. I have found that letting go and allowing the world to just be, without you holding on tightly to everything creates a freedom that I have just gotten the slightest taste of.
I was challenged this weekend as my mind went into its old ways of thinking and I began to isolate myself from who I truly am again. In the midst of love , just for a moment I found myself alone, feeling alone and then going into my head with old habits. Thanks to the tools I have learnt and the ability to realize when I am going into a negative spiral for no reason other than habit, I was able to not dwell in my moment and snap out of it and enjoy the love and people that I was surrounded by. The lesson for me was this: that I did have to let go of this world for a while in order to clear my mind, but it didn’t mean I had to let it go forever. Only to embrace it now from a new perspective, instead of from the old one. That’s the beauty of the world perspectives can change. Nothing really stays the same and we should stop resisting the inevitable truth, that we can only really control ourselves, our perspectives and our journey.
I let go of friendships thinking they would disappear in time, but they didn’t, they came back stronger, renewed, changed and I gained so much more out of the choice than I thought I would. I let go of the need for approval of family and friends and it strengthened our relationships so much more. I let go of the idea that I am not good enough for so many things and I have now made room for all the things that I know I am good enough for. Letting go made me realize that holding on holds me back, and now I find myself free. Free of the guilt that comes with doing what is right for me and my family. Free of the fear that something could go wrong, because no matter how much I try to control a situation something really could still go wrong, or, it could go right, either way I can only do what I am able to do.
I wish for you to find the courage to let go of those things that no longer serve you on the path you are currently on. To face those shaking hands and that racing heart and just do that thing that you so badly want to do but are afraid of what others will say or do. I wish for you that you start with the small things if you have to and see how rewarding it feels to accomplish little baby steps, so that you can build yourself up to taking greater leaps. I wish for you to push yourself through that feeling in your mind where you create every possible negative scenario to stop yourself. Tell yourself why you should, tell yourself all the positive outcomes if you do take the step forward. Take those shaky hands and that racing heart and step into the world where dreams can come true, that world that lives outside of your comfort, that world that every single one of us deserves.
I’m taking it one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time, one thing at a time and one dream at a time. Now I look back, and each little accomplishment that lives in my past, makes me smile, as the list grows with time and as the challenges grow in size, so does my courage, so does my ability to push through the fear. I can look back and remember that first step, when I couldn’t even speak properly, where my voice shuddered with fear and my hands shook like I was about to die, but I pushed through and faced it, and in the shaky voice said what I wanted to say, I chose the path that I wanted to take, and now, each day, I look for more. I look for more ways to build my courage, to heal what still needs healing, to free what still remains caged within me. But none of it would have ever come to be, if I held on tightly to those things that did not serve me. If I did not empty out my heart, my mind and my physical space to make room for new. It may sound cliché’ , but if it works, then I will happily be a working cliché’ knowing that each time I clean, I am creating space for more. Each time I pass something onto someone else to serve them, I create room more more to serve me.
Lets free ourselves from what holds us back from our dreams and make some room for more of what takes us forward.
Love and Light.