I’ve learned that secret in all of this is for me to keep going. Chin up and forward march. Ignore the doubt and remember why I do what I do. Its not about me, its about the greater experience and I am just playing my part.

The mind is a tricky little bugger. It has a mind of its own 🤣, it wants to do what it wants to do really, but you have to remember that the mind is like a small child that needs to be guided and taught how to not completely self destruct or hide in a corner and avoid all dangerous things. We cannot live like that as adults, its not living if we cower in fear at every corner or run away from everything. This mind of ours is such a complex thing. He/She/it/they (whatever your preference is) is continuously picking up every little thing we see, hear, touch, smell and taste, holding onto each little experience for dear life. Which is what its supposed to do. However, if we let it run wild, it will keep us from truly finding our true potential because as humans our natural fight/flight instinct is generally the go to for everything that makes us feel like we are in any type of danger.

That little voice in my head, the one that keeps reminding me of the times I messed up or the times I looked ridiculous or felt ridiculous or when they laughed at me and it made me feel worthless. That’s the little voice that comes from the storage of all the little things that I have experienced, and for some reason it seems to like the bad things more than the good things. It goes straight to telling me why I shouldn’t do many things and it keeps reminding me of why I failed before and how its safer to just do nothing.

Over time I have learnt that this voice is not my actual voice. Its the voice of my mind, playing tricks on me to keep me from doing anything that will put me in danger. Who said this, I don’t know, a few people, look it up if you really must know who said it. But what I do know is that my actual voice can overpower this negative inner voice if I strengthen it enough by using it more often. My actual voice, the one that comes out of my mouth and forms sound, I have found to be extremely powerful. It can overpower these negative inward voices easily with daily practices of how to actually find your voice. I was raised to not use my voice, to hide how I feel, to not let anyone know what’s actually happening, because every time I did it always got me in trouble. With my family, with my teachers, with my friends just in general, the people around me preferred that I keep it all to myself. Of course I don’t mean every single person around me and I am not using this to attack any specific person ( Before you jump down my throat), rather, I’m using this to explain how my actual voice got put away and I choice anger and silence instead of voicing the truth, or at least my truth in the past.

I see now after years of self taught improvements how my voice is so important, and how every time I chose to silence myself out of fear, what I was doing was allowing my truth to die. To die a physical death and get transferred into its mental grave where it chooses to haunt me every time a similar situation comes up. To remind me how I froze, or how I messed up or how I failed, and the only way to overcome this daunting voice that keeps haunting me is to actually tell it where it belongs and use the voice that I failed to use before to show my mind that I CAN and I WILL no matter how many times it tells that I cant or how many reasons it gives me why I cant. So I let it rant on and as it chooses and now I choose to either ignore the ranting and continue with my plan or to silence it by overpowering it with my REAL voice.

Makes me think on the concept of the MIND, BODY and SOUL. It kind of reminds of God in Christianity who is made up of the FATHER, SON and SPIRIT. We are supposed to made in the image and likeliness of GOD. 3 in 1 but separate entities of that 1 being. Is this a true analogy … I don’t know for sure, but it sure FEELS like it is the more thought I give to it. Whether it is or not is a different topic altogether. However in my opinion, GODs 3 in 1 is not in conflict with one one another like my 3 in 1. That’s a balance that is not of this world I guess.

Another question I have is ” Why does GOD make people so uncomfortable these days, or the topic of GOD or just the freedom to believe in him or not?” I have never really understood why MAN ( us) has to be right all the time? Why MAN feels like his way is the right way, when MAN has so many different ways. I mean we are all born into our respective fate, because whatever our parents believe that is what we are taught and then we kill each other over it eventually. If not a physical murder then a spiritual one and even sometimes a mental one. We are in constant opposition and struggle with each other as MAN with regards to GOD. Its been this way since the bible so I guess MAN in general is just a conflicted species that wants POWER more than PEACE.

This all makes me think about why I had receded into the corners of myself over time and hidden away from everything. Its definitely because its a scary world that we live in and my mind had been keeping me safely in limbo for the longest time. HOWEVER, one cannot hide from themselves forever. Or they can, but then they are choosing to not truly live fully and then what would happen to their blessing? Their gift, the thing that they were born with in order to serve this world however they were meant to? Why are we pushing each other into corners in the name of GOD by telling them that they are not doing what GOD wants. Who do we (MAN) think we (MAN) are really that POWERFUL to believe that we can DICTATE and FORCE-FEED GOD into people.

GOD is love and all powerful. How does one go about force-feeding love onto people. Love is something that is demonstrated by action. Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Yes I just quoted from the bible, because that is my point of reference. It may not be yours, but look at your point of reference and see what it says about love. Then come back to me tell me how to justify force feeding it to people and using fear or power to get them to do things your way.

Isn’t it funny how fear triggers ones mind into doing things to avoid conflict. Because resisting is dangerous ( RIGHT?) and will create conflict, the mind generally will lead us to the safer path. But what about your voice, your standards, what about who you actually are as a person and what GOD has placed in your heart. Silence is definitely safer yes, but at the expense of your life having meaning? Safe will not get you anywhere, it will not get me anywhere and because I am man not GOD I have to keep my mind, my body and my soul balanced in order to live a fruitful and balanced life. How do you keep all these balanced in a state of safety? Do you know how difficult it is to keep the balance in general? Its is literally a daily practice and I don’t believe that we can do it on our own nor that we can do it whilst hiding from life itself. We need like minded people around us to support us on our journey and we need to be the support of those people that are wobbly too. Its a balance of nature where if we lean on each other and push towards the actual service and empowerment that we were born for then in the end we leave a legacy for future generations to understand the importance of togetherness (UBUNTU) Oneness, and to use it for their benefit, for their future, for the foundation of what their legacies will be. If we choose to hide, then what will we leave for them to build on? What future will our children have and their children. Its something to think, food for thought. Keep that mind out of negative patterns by feeding it with positive thoughts and hopefully growing a new way of being, a new way of thinking, a new way of living.

I titled this post keep going because I have to tell myself this constantly or I will give up. When it gets tough I have to constantly tell myself to keep moving, keep going, not only in my head, but with my voice too, and then I have to force my body to move sometimes when it doesn’t want to. When I am weak, the people around me are there to push me when I need encouragement. To remind me of why I started this journey in the first place and then to let me lean on them when I am not strong like I once did for them in their time of need.

It never gets easier, because with greater accomplishments you will find greater responsibilities and with a great responsibility you will need a great circle of people around you to remind you of your WHY when things get tough. To help you remember that the goal is great enough to endure the struggle and that this is just a passing phase to get to the other side of time. Nothing is forever, everything has a beginning and an end, the good the bad and even my life on earth has an end. So why spend it cowering in fear of what could happen and instead live it courageously in anticipation of what could happen looking forward to what is in front of you right now instead of avoiding what could possibly go wrong.

So keep moving. Chin up, forward march. never stop, just keep going, because you never know what life could bring your way if you choose to shift your focus to the good things that you already have and that you envision for your future and let go of those negative possibilities that are holding you back form a bright future and a happy life where freedom lives in our minds, in our hearts and in our souls.

I wrote this from the center of my being, it reflects exactly where I am right now and I think its important for you to reflect on where you are right now. What have you been focusing on? What has that voice in your head kept you from? Have you been hiding from yourself, from your real voice or are you standing tall in confidence and speaking LOVE and LIGHT into your life, and the lives of those around you. Renouncing hatred and darkness and fighting the battle with courage and strength instead of hiding in the darkest corners of your mind hoping that no-one will find you there.

Stay blessed good people.

Love and Light to you, from me and mine to you and yours.

Tammy