The Fight for support

I live in a beautiful country. She boasts many wonders of nature that drops my jaw regularly. Her people are filled with so much beauty and culture. The push and pull of moving forward and going backwards, though is a tug of war that we really cant avoid. Our freedom is not so new anymore but it still feels like we live in the mindset of bondage and we seem to mostly still live in the boxes we were placed in before.

I look at how South Africans as a people struggle to find the support that they need to break free. I watch people with hopes and dreams that push themselves out of their comfort zones to start a business or to live off their passion, and what I notice is that they are not supported by their own. Especially in my community, The people around me are waiting for me to succeed first before they support me. Now of course this excludes those closest to me, my number 1 die hard supporters, but I mean those that are watching. Those that throw the comments at me about me being that podcasting lady. Or the ones that tell me that I’m crazy or that I am wasting my time.

Its sad really when I look at it. I see people trying. They literally are trying to make more of their lives by doing more or by trying to break free of their chains, and the people around them don’t support them. Instead they judge them and bring them down. Thankfully I am not surrounded by such people anymore, I have walked away from this type of person many years ago, but I look at the people around me that still need the approval of their peers and unfortunately their peers really don’t have their best interests at heart or they just don’t have such high expectations or value on their own lives and so they hold the people around them back. For their own comfort. Breaking free of the heavy weighted people around you is really tough. Because we love them and we don’t want to hurt them. We also don’t want to be alone. We need them to love us. I struggled when it was time to walk my path alone for a while. I had to let go of the need for approval and I had to let go of my desire to please. It took a while for me to get here and what I found is this:

The people that are rooting for me no matter what, never really leave or give up on me, they support me from the wings of life and silently pray for me to succeed.

The people that are in it for their own gain are always trying to get me to live how they want me to live and when I choose to not follow their direction they get angry and they throw guilt my way and try to get me back into that box that they are used to having me in.

Its really difficult to get the support of your community and the people that will ultimately support you are the ones that don’t know you personally. People that know you mostly have that ‘who does she think she is” attitude and that’s ok. I let go of the opinions of others a long time ago. I realised that the fight for support is only a fight if I make it one and that those that support me are plenty and I am blessed where I am.

The fact that we are free means that I am able to be who and whatever I want to be. Not only free to walk where we want and talk with who we want, but my freedom goes one step further where I find myself free from the opinions of those that still live in the mindset of limitation. Where they look at me and think that I have lived an easy life because of how I look, not realising that my battle was one not many had to fight. My freedom lies in my being. Where I live my life free from the boxes that I once lived in and free from the need to be accepted by those that aren’t like minded.

My support now lies in the people that like me see past the confinement of the judgement of others and the shame they place on you if you don’t live according to their standards.

So to everyone here in my beautiful country and anywhere in the world where oppression lives, that is pushing past their boundaries and limitations placed on them to become their true selves no matter who has what to say about it. I support you. For everyone that has told you that you cant, I’m letting you know that you can. Don’t listen to them. They sometimes don’t mean any harm, but they are holding you back because they don’t know any better. Don’t listen to those negative comments and push past that fear that has built up inside of you. Push past it one small step at a time by facing one small fear at a time and working your way up from there. That’s what I have been doing and even though my steps remain small, they are steps that I would have never taken 10 years ago or even 5 years ago.

This post is dedicated to everyone that feels like its hopeless. I’m here to show you that its not. I am pushing through, I am fighting and so can you. Keep pushing, keep writing, keep talking, keep dreaming, keep learning, keep working hard at your dreams. Good things are worth working on, and they are worth spending your time nurturing and loving. Nothing worth having comes easily, good things take time, take nurture and they take love.

So If you need support, you have it. If you need prayers you have it. I support you, I pray for you. I want you to succeed, I want you to find your freedom. I want you to fight for your dreams and to never give up. Fight with me, push past these stupid boundaries and lets find freedom from the expectations that have been placed on us. Lets live and not die inside everyday to please others. Just live, for you and for those that have passed on. Lets live because we get to not because we have to. Lets support those around us that are where we used to be and help them get to where we are. Even if we are not where we want to be yet, we are well on our way and those that are stuck need you to lend them a hand and help them take that step forward. It doesn’t matter what you do, a hug, a blessing, a smile, a prayer, words of encouragement, your time or just your support and your blessing. Sometimes its the smallest things that push those that need to be pushed in the direction of freedom.

Don’t be selfish with your love and your light. Share it everyone that needs it, Share it with both the rich and the poor, because money doesn’t always equate to freedom and poverty don’t always mean misery. Just treat people like people and don’t assume anything about them. Because the truth is, we really really dont know anything about them or how they feel inside, or what they truly go through each day that passes. So choose love, choose hope, choose kindness and choose to support those that have nobody in their corner.

Ok I have said my say. So be who you needed when you needed someone, to everyone around you. Do what you can. Do what’s right. Just do what you are born to do.

Love and light.

Tammy