Goodbye 2021

The final sun has set on 2021 and I can say that this was a bittersweet year for me. Before it ends and the clock strikes 12 I wanted to do what I love and write about what 2021 gave me and took from me. I wanted to leave behind the sadness and hold onto the positives using them to charge into 2022 with a gust of energy ready to take on anything and everything that comes my way both good and bad.

I like to believe that the tone you set leaving a year and entering into a new one subconsciously carries you through the next 12 months taking with you the energy and the silent hopes and dreams with it. Whether it be the end and beginning of a calendar year or a birth year, the energy you hold onto while walking through the gateway to the next 12 months is important because your mind tends to hold onto things quite literally.

Last year I was alone, I chose to let my daughter stay with my mother so she would not be alone and I was in bed and asleep by 10pm. We had a 9pm curfew and Covid was ravaging its way through the lives of my friends and family, forcing everyone to stay apart. I went into 2021 feeling like so much was taken from me in 2020 and I went into 2021 with that energy. The energy of feeling like I lost that battle. Funny story, 2021 was a year of personal isolation. I went into the year alone and I carried myself through the year alone too. At first it was a way for me to avoid certain issues that I didn’t want to face, but it turned into a year where I zoned in on myself and healed so much brokenness that I carried with me, and a year that I walked into defeated yet I am walking out of it a victor. A year that took so much from me yet gave me so much more. 2021 has been full of tears, but those tears healed so much pain that I hid when I was around people and isolating myself allowed me to be vulnerable with myself and to heal instead of being distracted with unnecessary noise I stopped, felt and healed.

After a year of distancing myself from everyone, again I find myself spending this time alone. For the second year of my entire life I am doing this exit of the year by myself. With so many mixed emotions because I don’t have to be alone, I am choosing it. I am not isolating myself anymore, I am embracing myself and choosing to be in my own thoughts. I want to exit this year acknowledging the work I have put into it and remembering the people that I lost while at the same time focusing on all that I have built and gained. I don’t want to end this year surrounded by the noise of things that have no meaning to me. I would rather be here, on my couch, writing and listening to some good music. I want to start 2022 taking care of myself instead of nursing a headache. I want to leave 2021 acknowledging the good and the bad.

I want to remember those lives that are no more and hold them close by holding onto the gratitude that I feel for knowing them. I want to practice what I preach and be in good company. For right now, that is me. Right here right now I have overcome the feeling of regret and loneliness and I am truly happy with my choices. Tomorrow I will wake up fresh and meditate for the first day of my year before I get my butt out there to celebrate NEW YEARS DAY with friends and family… because I will not spend 2022 alone, I will share my life with those that I love and those that love me.

My wish for you is that you take everything from 2021 both the good and the bad and you create greatness from the lessons that you have learnt, taking that greatness into 2022 and flourishing into the person that you were born to be. May you find love and light even in the darkest days and remember that you are your number 1, so take the time to take care of you, because you are important and without you the entire dynamic of the world changes.

Happy New Year to those that have already entered 2022 and us that are still awaiting the big moment of the clock striking 12 allowing us to believe in a gateway to new possibilities.

Love and light

Tammy