Focused on me

I find it so refreshing how finding clarity on situations that were once very confusing brings about peace. I used to worry about things that were out of my control and it took me years to get to the point where I can finally step back and let the universe do what it’s going to do.

I have learnt that I can only focus on my life. At this point I realise that zoning in on myself, helps more people because I am able to act from a place of calm and with an understanding that I can only assist where I can. I hate that most of my youth was spent in pain. I hate that I didnt have someone that could relate to me and guide me, some that understood. Dont get me wrong I had people around me that loved me. They just didn’t understand me and couldnt relate to my pain. I think that is whay im so big on being who I didn’t have when I was growing up. That person who listens with no judgement, that person who sees the goodness in people even through their pain. Just a person who gets that life is tough and sometimes you need to lend a helping hand, however you can.

I get the frustration though of those that don’t get it. That seem to think you must just suck it up and move on. They don’t know anything else because that is their experience. I also learnt not to take any of those people to heart, because they are acting from their limited knowledge as does eveyone. Lets be real. There is not a sinlge person on this earth that know everything. So why then do we get some that feel high and mighty, as if they created the world and they have a full understanding of it and all its functions. Everyone is just working with the information that they have.

It keeps everything in perspective for me. That even those people that appear to have it all together, are lacking in knowledge. That nobody is perfect, even if we proclaim to be. I used to beat myself up for not being perfect, for making mistakes. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be accepted if I couldnt do something. To this day I hate seeing someone being teased for trying something new and not being great at it. People that do that should be ashamed of themselves. It may be funny to you but to the person trying, it’s difficult and unknown territory. If a person tries something new and sucks at it, what they need is support, not teasing. Putting someone down almost shows that you have a limitation, it shows that you lack some self confidence and get your boosts from making others feel less than. I hate bullies. I hate injustice. It makes my blood boil, especially because human beings love power, they love being better than everyone around them and in charge. What I have had to learn though is most of these things are out of my control. I can only pray for peace and for a positive change. I am not afraid to stand up to it if it’s in front of me, but what can I do about injustice in another city or country?

I do feel like the world is bleeding and humans are the problem. Greed is the problem and so is a need for power over others. I genuinely hate pain, because I know what pain feels like. I would never want anyone to have to go through it. But there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I find my peace in knowing that I’m doing the best I can with what I have to minimise the pain around me. That’s all I can ask for, to remain peacefull within myself, no matter what the storm around me looks like. I am of no assistance to anything or anyone if I am a nervous panicking wreck in the midst of a storm. I have to remain rooted in peace, love and joy. I can only give what I have, because how can you assist someone in need if you yourself are in need of that same thing? I can’t ease pain, if I am in pain.

Life has been interesting lately. Ever since I’ve shifted my focus to myself and what I can do, everything is falling into place. I have not given any energy to what I cannot change, and this seems to be the greatest gift I could have given myself. I’m filling up my tanks and making sure that I’m the best me, a calm me, a peaceful me and a grateful me.

Thanks for popping in. I love that you are here. Let me know whats going on with you!

Love and light

Tammy!