If it’s not for me

When something is not for me I have to let it be what it is meant to be and set that thing free to go where it is meant to go.

Clinging to things and people is not something that promotes a healthy mindset. Because the only thing or person we should cling to is our selves, our growth, our own lives.

This is whats on my heart today. Mostly because of the amount of loss I have endured in my life and how each experience took me on a different journey and each journey taught me a different lesson. I see now that nothing and nobody can be clung to, because they are not forever. We have to live side by side with all the things our hearts desire and all the people our hearts acquire, but we can never live because of them, or for them. We have to live for ourselves and we have to pour ourselves into our very own lives, into the very breath that we take each day. We have to pour ourselves into becoming the fullness of who we were created to be.

Does this mean we are selfish? No, it means that we learn to love on a level of the understanding that nobody or nothing belongs to us. With this understanding we respect and appreciate the time that we do get to share with people and things. When they leave, will we feel the pain? Yes! Will we be hurt? Yes, but we must find comfort in appreciating the time that we had with thos people. Whether they left by choice or not. It’s the same thing, they shared themselves with you and you were blessed to have the company of that soul even if it was for a minute. We cannot hold onto people, they are not ours to hold onto.

I know you are reading this and saying easier said than done. I absolutely agree with you. It is easier said than done, but once you have lost on the level that I have lost and on the level that I have witnessed others losing, it becomes impossible to ignore the fact that PEOPLE DO NOT BELONG TO US and they will either leave to fullfil their path on earth or they will leave this earth and continue their journey with their maker.

This sits on my heart as I watch my daughter grow and become a young lady, she will find a path of her own one day and life will change again, this is not a bad thing, as she is not mine to hold onto. Nobody is. Now, for the first time in the history of my painful story I am finally at peace, with knowing that each life I encounter is a blessing and when they choose to leave, it means their time walking my path with me is over and I must wish them well, no matter how painful the goodbye may be, there is a right way to say goodbye and a wrong way. I’ve said goodbye the wrong way too many times already, with guilt trips and fights, instead of appreciating the time shared I used to focus on what I was losing and not what I had already gained just by knowing that person.

Letting go has become easier now, because I can see the beauty in living freely in this world clinging to nothing and appreciating everything. walking side by side with the ones I love and not over bearing them with broken pieces from my past but instead freeing myself enough to allow a greater understanding of relationships, a greater understanding of life and I see now that once I’ve let go of this need to control what isn’t mine to control, then and only then was I freed from the shackles that I had placed on myself, holding myself back from moving forward because I was holding onto what was instead of accepting what is and allowing myself to go towards a new path, where I’m guided by light and love instead of darkness and pain.

When the light bulb moment happens and you not only see truth but you feel it too, this is when your world completely turns around for the better. It’s in the full package, of having the knowledge, feeling the truth and then applying it to your life that makes all the difference. Everything is a process though, so don’t give up! Keep pushing for your dreams and keep doing the work. It will pay off in time, little by little you will reap the rewards, and before you know it you will look back and realise how each baby step of changed has completely transformed your life one choice at a time.

Love and light





  1. Your article has heled me appreciate the position I am in. My wife of almost 30 years decided to leave me unannounced. I was devastated by the fact that this happened to me ( another life time sufferer of loss) and tried to reconcile her leaving with something I had done.
    But reading your article I realize that the natural law of Live- Love- Loss- Acceptance is a universal concept. It is a tough nut to swallow but the universe has its own reality for us all to accept ( eventually).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for aharing this with me, Im really happy to have helped you even if its in the smallest way. This is definately a devastating experiencw for you to be experiencing. Im glad tou see that you cant blame yourself for someone elses choices and I hope that you find the peace that you need and that you find forgiveness in your heart so you can move to the next chapter of your journey. Loss is definately not easy but if you let yourself feel what you are feeling instead of keeping. It in, the process of healing comes alot quicker than if you choose tto not allow yourself to freely feel emotion.
      I wish you all the best… And thank you again for sharing. Your story with me.


  2. What a awesome outlook on letting go! I still struggle with this as I must admit I have some control issues. I also do believe that individuals are in our lives for seasons and when their time is up it will go away. If you try to hold on to it, it will no longer fulfill our purpose. Then as you stated we have that aawwh ha moment!! Then we begin to make peace. Thank you for sharing your journey.


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