Why am I afraid to tell you who I am

When I read this, my heart felt for the me that wrote this in 2019 because I knew what she was going through and I knew how lonely it was for her. Yet at the very same time I read this now through the eyes of me now and my heart is glad that I dont feel this way anymore. That the proverbial bruises on my wrists written here have now healed and are no more. There is nobody trying to keep me in a box and my relationships have been healed. The love that came out of this piece and the healing that it provided was so vital to journey of my self realisation and acceptance.

It’s a beautiful piece, it’s the song my heart sang 2 years ago. It’s a poem written from my soul, and its a catalyst to the healing process that came thereafter.


original picture used in 2019


Voicenote for my listeners.

I wrote this because it is the essence of how I felt with regards to many situations in my life. My relationship with my parents, my relationship with my brother, with myself, with work and with love… I had always felt trapped because of the sensitivity and harshness of my life and not wanting to be a dissapointment to anyone. Recently I realised that it had nothing to do with them at all and it was all about me not dissapointing myself, and my expectations of the relationships I longed for required me to stay in a proverbial box out of fear of losing the picture of perfection in my head. Which I didnt get to have anyway… so this is my story… this is my song.

All my life I’ve tried to hide myself from you, and in the process I’ve hidden myself from me…

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