The last few weeks have been a little touch and go for me, in the sense that everything I have set my heart on seems so much harder than the other stuff. I sometimes wonder why the things worth having and doing take so much more effort than the easy way out.

I have been feeling somewhat despondent about my goals, but I know that its just a dip in energy and I need to take the time to center myself again and I will be back on track. Yesterday a friend voicenoted me and checked on my dancing… (I haven’t danced in 2 weeks). The fact that I felt guilty, knowing that I have made goals and JUST BECAUSE IT’S BEEN CHALLENGING DOESN’T MEAN I GET TO GIVE UP. Which is kinda what I did for a minute, I just gave up. But after hearing her voice reminding me of who I am and what I am and where I’m going has given me a little push in the right direction, so today I dance because I love to dance and the only way to beat this slump I’m in is to get on my feet and dance.

I’ve also fallen off the healthy eating band wagon for 3 weeks now, carbs, cake .. all my guilty pleasures in life that I know I fall into when I’m a bit troubled. So yes I felt despondent and I stopped doing everything that is good for me. I’m human and I’m allowed to have some time to be a failure. Today another friend asks about my eating and my exercise… What is this lol check up on Tammy week? Clearly the world needs me back on my balanced feet and doing what I do because it won’t leave me to dwell in darkness for too long. So I have to go grocery shopping and chuck out all the biscuits … fun times ahead. I also have to get my exercise on again beacause as he clearly stated , all he was hearing were excuses… caught in my own little circle of excuses. So I acknowledge this and I will change my behaviour. One step at a time.

I think that I am still exactly where I need to be, because if it wasnt for my moments of weakness, I wouldnt take the time to re-asses my challenges and I would just blindly march on, this way I get to see how negatively these bad choices affect my mind and my body and it gives me strength to pick myself up and move forward.

I have very few people in my life that take the time to check up on me for real, but I’m blessed for those that do because without them my life will be such a bore. I know that they love me enough to tell me what I need to hear. I look at my small circle of friends and I truly am blessed at the positive changes I’ve made in my life. I’m also grateful for this negative patch that I have just gone through, it has opened my eyes to many things and I am now able to adress them and grow.

I am so thankful for everyone in my life and every relationship I have where there is a mutual love and understanding. My circle is a genuine one and the people I have surrounding me are full of the positive energy and upliftment that I need right now. I love you guys, ALL OF YOU.

Thank you for following my posts, I look forward to hearing from you and sharing more with you.

Live your life surrounded by positive light and love.

Tammy