Before I had my daughter, I was definately sleepwalking through life. She woke me up like nobody else could have! I learned very quickly how to put everything in perspective and how important my well being is! If I struggled she struggled, if I cried she felt it, if I was stressed so was she. This really made it NECESSARY for me to learn how to breathe through chaos instead of trying to get everything in the order I needed it to be in.
Children have a way of taking your life and turning it upside down! The funny thing is I prefer my life this way… upside down; it seems to be the better version. Before her , I partied ALOT, I basically worked to party, I made SO MANY bad decisions and passed up SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES. I had blinkers on. I was the victim of my circumstances and I didn even know it. By 26 I had identified that I had to make changes or I’m going to die. I was just always in the wrong places, with the wrong people doing things I really had no business doing.
My life changed for the better when Taelyn came into it. I learned alot about unconditional love, I learned that I was valuable (at least to this little girl) and I learned that I had to pull my life together quickly, so that she didnt have to experience my pain too. Over the last 10 years that’s what I’ve done, pulled my life together one moment at a time, one decision at a time and one step at a time. The greatest lesson that I’ve learned is TO PUT MYSELF FIRST because if I dont have my shit together then neither does she. If I dont have peace then neither does she, and if I cant even love myself then how can I love her properly? So, I do as much as I can to keep my tanks full and when I feel empty I take the time to make the changes needed to refill them, whether it be a holiday or just an hour at the ocean, a visit with friends or for some love and laughter, sometimes a good cry can do the trick too, or a day at the park, or just quiet time reading a good book. If I feel myself off balance I never ignore it because I know it will affect her in the end.
I’ve taught my daughter that its good to take time for yourself, to have moments just for you, to breathe when things get stressful and remember that it will pass. I’m so grateful that I learned to love me first because it has given me the strength to love her wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Parenting is difficult in general, children are going to test you in every way possible, you need to take every opportunity to rest and to refill your energy levels or you will lose and if you lose , they lose.
Parenting 101, make yourself and your needs a priority, because a strong, healthy, happy parent makes a strong, healthy, happy child and a broken down parent cannot create that strong , healthy and happy child.
Live your life filled with all the things you need , because you cannot give what you do not have.