I’ve spent most of my life not liking myself. For many reasons of course … it started when I was a little girl, because when someone older than you tells you that you are bad and thats why bad things are happening to you, you tend to believe them. I was criticised alot by this specific person as I grew and he picked on everything I did whenever I tried to look nice. He told me that I looked cheap when I wore makeup, always pointed out the negatives on me and never had anything positive to say. I felt horrible about myself as a teenager, I was the most awkward teenager you could find. Not only was I awkward , but I was angry and I really disliked what I looked like.
I carried this with me most of my adult life. It’s so sad that I had to because it was such a heavy weight for a young person to carry. I wish I had learned how to set myself free earlier in life, but here I am, finally free.
I’ve learned so much about myself, and as I learn I’m in awe of how mean I had been to me. There is so much good inside of me and I had chosen to completely ignore that and only focus on the bad, for most of my life. Looking back I feel for the young lady I used to be, how she longed for the freedom I now have.
I have finally freed myself of me. My judgements, my expectations, my hateful attitude. I’ve had to forgive myself for all the choices that I had made in the past and accept myself for who I am and embrace everything that I had done in my past for what it truly is… the past, it’s over. I am now free to love myself unconditionally and allow others into my heart without anything holding me back.
My friendships have even changed and become uplifting and supportive, my work is almost in alignment with my wishes, my space has become everything I asked for and I am for the first time in a very long time without any reservations, truly happy.
How do I know this? Well, I feel happy, I feel free, I feel light hearted, I’m smiling for no reason more than usual, and also for so many reasons at the same time. I look at my space and feel blessed. All my frustrations of yesterday have been lifted. All because for the first time in the history of me… I finally accept myself just as I am, with all my quirks, all my mistakes and all my choices, to explain the freedom in this, the freedom in knowing that no matter what anyone says or does to you that you are free of needing their approval. It has to be by far the most lighthearted I have felt to date.
My wish for you is for you to find your light and to forgive yourself for all your mistakes, to look at who you are, who you once were and to accept that person with an unconditional understanding , forgivness and love. Free yourself of your own judgements and just accept who you are because if you dont, then nobody else ever will because if you can’t truly see the ultimate value of you, then how can anyone else appreciate that value? When you can’t even appreciate yourself.
Live your life as a true reflection of who you ACTUALLY ARE, not who you think you should be.
I hope this creates a pattern of thought for you, into how you ACTUALLY feel about who you are.
You are so right about all the good in you! You rock and I’m so proud of you! Loving your posts!!!!
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Thanks Tam I appreciate all your support and love.. I’m blessed to have you!