It’s been almost two months since I have moved into my new space and in that time so much has changed for me already with regards to mind body and soul. Sharing a small room with my daughter for 7 years originally wasnt so bad when she was 3 but at 10 let’s just say the comfort levels dropped to ‘claustrophobic’ for both of us. It took me almost a year to find something suitable for us but in the end the wait was worth it.
I may not live in a mansion, and I may not own my own house yet, but the freedom of renting my own space, being able to live by my own rules and being able to breathe and just be, has to be the most freeing release of energy I have had in a very long time. When I came home from Port Elizabeth to live with mom it was meant to be just for a short while and then 1 year turned to 7 in the blink of an eye. The comforts of living at home with mom are truly amazing and coming home to a cooked meal, having someone see to all the house stuff while you are at work and of course having a ‘live in’ babysitter has to be the best thing ever. Not to mention the feeling of being taken care of, because that’s what mothers do, they MOTHER. All this would be amazing if an 18 year old was typing out this blog post, or even a 25 year old could get away with it, but I turned 39 this year and it just became inexcusable to STILL be living with MOM. Not only because I am capable of taking care of myself but also because it began to stunt MY growth and development as an adult. LESS adulting gets done at home because technically you ARE STILL the child in the household if YOU live with MUM. Ideally because my mum is getting older, I aim to get myself a place with enough space for all of us. BUT there is a distinct difference when the space belongs to me and I’m taking care of HER not the other way around. This is why it became such a priority for me to cut the umbilical cord. I love my mother and I will always be there for her, but in order for me to take care of her in her later years I have to take care of me now.
So to all the people that tried to guilt me into staying, I would like to say that nothing pleases me more than to prove all of you wrong. That it’s best you keep doing you and let me do me. Because in all my craziness and in all the things I do that don’t make sense to you, I’ m ALWAYS taking care of the people that I am responsible for in one way or another and I’ m always making sure that we have what we need. That is my priority and always will be. Even though in the eyes of some I may seem unworthy, I know that I am worthy and I don’t need to be validated by any person other than myself and my GOD.
I am so blessed and its important to remember to share blessings and to always keep those less fortunate than you in mind when living in the midst of all your blessings.
Change will only come when that extra mile is taken and when you close your ears off to the naysayers and follow your OWN path. Stay true to who you are ALWAYS, never compromise yourself and your values for another. They will not be there when its time for you to answer for your actions.
Live your life true to who YOU are.