Why do we pretend that we are ok when we are not? What is it about us that makes us feel like we have to pretend. Is it not socially acceptable to feel anymore? Smile and wave, just shake it off and move along.
Today I dont feel like hiding my disappointment in myself. I need to express how sometimes we are going to make mistakes, sometimes we will move backwards instead of forwards and the road you find yourself on will be the road you left a while ago. Going in circles can be frustrating, especially when you thought you were in the clear. When you find yourself in a predicament that you really didnt expect to get yourself back into, because you have grown emotionally, spiritually and mentally. You are supposed to know your worth, and not allow people to treat you less than you deserve. Because thats what I write about, thats my message. So what happens when I fall into the trap of my old thoughts and get hurt because for a moment, a small moment, I made choices that were not in alignment with where I want to go. I was looking for short term satisfaction and forgot about the long term plan.
Let me tell you what happens, for a brief moment you feel like the dumbest person ever, but just for a moment. Then you realise that the actions of another person are only a reflection on them and their character, not yours and so you begin to feel somewhat better knowing that you can control how to react from now and change the situation into a learning curve. Its never too late. You take that negative feeling and address it directly for what it is, just a feeling, and work through what was lacking that caused you to make that mistake. Then you write about it, so the emotion can be transferred to a piece of paper and you tear the shit out of those feelings and throw it in the bin, or burn it… whatever works for you.
Pick up your crown, chin up , head held high and move along to the rest of your journey like the queen that you are! Thats my rant for today on how I get my shit together when I dissapoint myself.
Thank you for reading.