It’s so easy to fall back into the trap of a negative cycle, especially if you have lived in it most of your life. There are both negative and positive whispers that creep into your mind, if you are not careful without even realising it you follow the direction of the negative whispers and fall into a trap that will keep you in a circle of unhappiness.
The reason I’m writing this is because there is a war going on in the realms of my mind and I could feel myself spinning off into a NEGATIVE CYCLE. Using positive experiences to make excuses to do the wrong thing. Like using a celebration to over indulge in sugary foods that are not going to take your body in a positive direction. I now find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place because my energy levels have dropped and I can feel the negative changes that my choices have made to my body. My headaches are back for one, and its become difficult to focus on the things that I usually do because of a lower energy level. Waking up early has become difficult and my 5am routine has been almost non existent. Looking back I can see that its all about my sugar intake and my lack of movement these last few days.
I knew I wasn’t going to stick to the healthy eating in my birthday week , but I took it a step too far and really celebrated for an entire week and then some. The lesson here is that I have been able to identify how quickly eating unhealthy meals can affect my mind body and soul. I feel like my entire existence is connected to what I put in my mouth and have a new respect for the food that I eat. My energy levels have been so low that I had to physically stop myself, and identify what is wrong, because my mind had switched to a disfunctional and somewhat unhappy space that began to make me feel very uncomfortable. I had to breathe and meditate on the issue at hand to release it or destroy it (I find destroying the problem in my mind works for me). Breathing exercises and finding ways to re-centre myself and focus on correcting the imbalance that I have created in the spirit of ‘çelebration’ is my main goal now.
My challenge for this week is to find my feet once again in the midst of a busy work schedule and being a mother, making the time for myself is what keeps me sane and not taking care of myself focusing on everything else is what keeps me off balance. Thankfully my weight has not increased from my last weeks post, but it hasnt decreased either and so its time to evaluate once again why I started this challenge and find ways to get back on track.
I will give myself the credit that is due for not lying to myself about my challenges, because in order to make the necessary changes one has to first identify the problems. Now that I have identified a lack in my processes I have to do better, because when you know better you should do better.
Thank you to everyone that is supporting me through this process, I truly appreciate all of you.
Live your life being real and honest with yourself always.
Written by: Tammy-Lynn Murphy