I definitely knew what I was getting myself into when I set this challenge, because if I don’t challenge myself… then who will? Right? This is my third weekly Wednesday update on the challenge to bring myself back to a healthy weight, because being 17Kg’s over my maximum weight for my height was a bit over the top. It was becoming the norm for my doctors to tell me that I’m overweight and for the scale to be getting closer to 100 every time I look at it and lets not mention that the bigger sized clothing I had up scaled to for comfort, had also begun to burst at the seems. But no more of this because with just a tiny 2kg’s less I already feel the change and I can tell my body is happier than what it was when I first started this process. However it seems like this time around the boobs are not the first to go but my face is getting rid of its extra weight much quicker than it normally does because I can already see a change.
It’s only been 3 weeks since this crazy commitment, I’ve had such mixed emotions about it all. One day I’m feeling on top of the world and spunky with high spirits, the next I’ m dying for a chocolate and cursing the day I let it all get so bad that I have to limit myself from the things I enjoy eating. However, I can confidently say that I’ve got this healthy eating thing down now. I cannot say that I’ve been a friend to the exercise routine, trying to mix it up until I find what I’m looking for. At this point though, I’ve realized that there is no easy exercising and if I want it to work I’m going to have to up my game. For now though, I am celebrating small victories, the weight is still on the decline, the food habits are on the mend, so I’m not beating myself up too much about this exercise routine laziness. I have decided to reserve that to February. One mountain at a time! I am exercising when I’ m supposed to, just not at the intensity that I’m supposed to. See, I admit my lack of enthusiasm to torture myself… but I’m building myself up to the challenge.
These are the struggles of my mind, I don’t want to overdo it because if I do, I will find reasons to cheat more than I am allowed and I would rather be on a steady path of slow progress than a fast route to failure. I also have to keep a close eye on my thyroid condition, these heart palpitations are no joke and I’ve noticed while exercising sometimes they spike to a dangerously fast nearly jumping out of my chest rate and I have to slow down. Yes, if you must know I’ve cleared everything with a doctor and I’m closely monitoring myself. Exercise is good for this, keeping healthy will help in the long term and hopefully I can be a well balanced person and thyroid issues down the drain… treated of course.
So here I am, settled somewhat into the new eating plan (which will be changing again shortly as I have not eliminated processed sugar as yet just halved it),exercising regularly at a low intensity (but getting enough in). It looks like I’ve definitely won the starting race against my battle of the bulge. February however, the month of my birthday and love should be an interesting one as I know I’m going to be overloaded with cake and chocolate. I will have to steady myself and remember that I can have these things in moderation. Look at me sitting in January and anticipating February. I tend to torture myself like this sometimes, but no, I’m going to shake that off and focus on the now, and celebrate where I am now and what I have accomplished now. Every small victory is still a victory! I have been making progress… even though I know I could have done better, I’m proud that I managed to make some progress. For the last days of January I want to work on my mindset a bit more as I have shifted the focus a bit and it looks like I need to breathe and look at balancing my mind, body and soul. Any imbalance takes you off your path, I have to remember that focusing on all 3 is vital to my healthy progression of self and that neglecting one part of me to focus only on another will lead to me taking steps backwards with regards to the part of me that I neglect.
Keeping a balanced life is just as important as maintaining a healthy balanced diet. Healthy body, healthy mind, yes, but a healthy mind needs exercise too and your soul needs to be fed just as much as your body does. Don’ t forget the rest of you when you trying to fix one broken part, because neglecting any part of you will throw you off balance one way or another. Which is why it’s never good to isolate yourself too much, because this is where friendships come into play. The people that are closest to you can sense when you are off balance, and if they are in tune with your path and your focus, they can let you know when you have shifted your balance and need to focus on balancing your life out equally. Having at least one friend that can spot when you are tipping over the scale that is willing to help push you back into place, is a priceless gift that not many people get to experience in life. I can gladly say that I am blessed with friendships, where my friends are as invested in my well being as much as I am invested in theirs. Although life throws some seriously huge rocks at me and I have had to face some of the most tormenting experiences; it also gave me the ability to shield myself and protect myself from all the blows, and though I couldn’t avoid all of them, I definitely have had an amazing team to help me get up and get back into the game of life. Its a serious battle though and not all have made it through. Those that didn’t make it, they fought a great fight and fell fighting their way through life, never giving up hope. They will forever be with me in spirit and I hold them close to my heart especially when these types of challenges come my way. I do it with them in my heart and I hold onto the memories, keeping them alive through me. For those that didn’t get the opportunity to wake up and hold their families this morning, I did, and for that I am blessed and for that I will focus and fight through any challenge that I have to face as I have been doing for all of my life. Because I get to be here, and they don’t, I have no excuse, I get to be the best version of me that I can possibly be and I get to fight the best fight I can possibly fight, I get to win and I get to learn.
Week 3 has clearly got me emotional, with my mind and my body fighting a fight with change. My soul is at ease though, I am rooted in peace, even when chaos tries to take over, I center myself in the peace of my maker, in the arms of the grace that surrounds me. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and remember that I am here, I am blessed, I am loved, I am focused and I am free.
Thank you to everyone that has been supportive of me so far in my efforts to challenge myself. It takes every bit of influence, motivation and inspiration that I can get to move me past the mountains of fear.
Live your life with all your might, its the only one you have.
Written By: Tammy – Lynn Murphy