My daughter is my greatest blessing and my greatest challenge. She has such a big personality that I sometimes am out of my comfort zone with what to do. She is the child that speaks out, the child that questions everything, the child that doesn’t just accept what you say but queries and asks for explanations. She is louder than the rest, she is going to say exactly what she wants, when she wants and do what she wants when she wants. She is beautiful and kind, she is sensitive and has the most amazing heart.
Parenting to me comes mostly from how I was parented; do what you are told and don’t argue… Right? Well this does not work with my kid, she argues, negotiates and compromises. At first it was instinctual for me to put her in her box and in her place, because that’s all I knew. I felt shy of her outspokenness because children should be seen and not heard… Right? Wrong! It took me a while , but I finally realized that the more you resist this personality type the more they resist you. So I stopped resisting. I entered the world of explained parenting. I explain everything, I discuss why she must and must not do something and I allow her to negotiate. Yes majority of parents are thinking that I am crazy, that you will never, and I was one of those parents, until I could see the light dimmer in my child’s eyes, when I saw the glow of childhood, happiness and just of her soul, begin to dim, I quickly looked into alternative ways to raise children with big personalities. I mean she drives me crazy, but there is nothing that a conversation cannot solve. Shes crazy and dramatic, but when shes not all these things, I worry that something is wrong. I see the glow in her eyes, she is alive and full of hope and joy and everything that she should be full of. I have chosen not to listen to the noise of the outside world who give me those disapproving looks when she does something not according to their standard. She only has a few years of being a kid, and then she has to be an adult. I choose to let her be whatever she needs to be and to love her unconditionally.
She is my light at the end of a dark tunnel, she is a ray of sunshine and an explosive human being. I will not put her into a little box because the world requires me to. When she shines, she will shine in her own light, because I will do everything within my power to grow her into her full potential. This is what love is. It is not control, it is nurture.
Live your life in all your glory!
Written By: Tammy Murphy