It’s been an interesting festive where people reach out to long lost friends and family to wish them well and send love and joy. It’s my favorite time of the year… ok, one of my favorites… because my birthday is pretty high on my list. Its amazing though how people feel its ok to decide for me where I should be in life by now. From what I’ve been told its married, with at least 2 kids. That’ s it. That is all that’s expected. I have managed half the kid requirement according to the standard of the 4 males that have actually asked me the question,” Are you married yet?” to which I respond, “No.” until the last one, the last one I needed more, I needed to find out why does he ask? Is marriage a requirement? Is it compulsory? This human actually answered yes. I truly wasn’t offended, I was shocked though at the abrasiveness of his answer. There are obnoxious people that believe a woman should be married by lets say 35 and if they are not then it gives them ground to be ridiculed and harassed about it until they do get married.
Another famous question is ” How many kids do you have?” the shock and horror of my answer being just 1 is hilarious. Especially when the next question that comes out of their mouths is, “Why?”… Really? You need to know why I only have 1 kid? Lets begin with how expensive kids are, not to mention parenting isn’t the easiest thing to do especially alone, which of course can be solved if I got married…right? Because marriage is the answer to all life’s challenges. Its not. Marriage to me is a lifetime commitment that I will only make if I feel its with a person that is compatible to my already developed life and that compliments the choices I have already made for myself. I will not make that commitment under pressure or because someone said I should, I am very content whether I am single or in a relationship. The reality is; all is well with my soul. I am living my life to the fullest with each moment that presents itself and I embrace every door thats opened for me to explore. If one day I decide marriage is part of that, then thats exactly what I’ll do, and if I decide not to then I will continue to enjoy life as I am.
It seems though that these questions and comments come mostly from my fellow male acquaintences. The ladies have got different questions to ask me, like ” Hows the career change going?” or ” Whats your next step?” “Congratulations on the blog, well done on being true to your calling!” Well done ladies to being focused on the important things in life and not harping on about old fashion standards and requirements. I wont generalize because I know its just a few bad eggs that spoil it for everyone, so I will just leave it right here.
I would like to say though, that no matter who you are and where you find yourself in life, dont allow other people to pressurise you into conforming to their standards. If you are happy and choose to move at a different pace thats great, because this is your life and yours alone to choose for yourself and to be who you are supposed to be. Just do your best and be your best, then let the chips fall where they may. Have faith in your choices, believe in yourself and live your best life.
Be amazing, be amazed!
Written By : Tammy-Lynn Murphy