I wrote a story about how difficult it is to adapt in the world. I read through it and decided; no this is not going to work. I then deleted what I wrote and rewrote the story to try to make it more …I dunno… maybe relate-able to everyone else, because its about them and not me ? Right? NO, wrong. My writing has always been about my experiences and understanding of everything experienced. It doesn’t have to be my story for me to experience something. I can have experiences through other people. People I love, people I’ve helped, people I’ve simply sat and listened to. My interpretation though is through their pain or happiness and my understanding of their story.
My problem comes when its time to block out the external forces that try to make my work relate-able to them. Not everything will relate to everyone, not everything is meant to speak to everyone, but if it happens to be the thing that speaks to just a few, and helps to open a passage to clarity or light, then I am on the right path. I’m not here to please everyone, I’m here to express myself in the purest, rawest, and most sincere way I possibly can. Overthinking it makes me less authentic, because with every change comes an opinion, or a fear that creeps in, and before I know it I find myself second guessing everything I so confidently wrote a moment ago. I have to believe in what I do in order to do it sincerely, I have to love what I do in order to do it lovingly, I cannot overthink my gifts if I want them to run freely through me. I have to embrace myself if I expect my work to embrace me.
I am like the rising sun, with every morning I rise to the highest form of my potential for that day and with each moment that passes me by, I live to shine as brightly as I am meant to. I do not compete with other suns, I do not compare myself to the stars, I am here to provide light and warmth to help others see what they would not be able to see and be what they are not able to be. I am uniquely me, I don’t apologize for it and I trust in my process. I do not have to think about how to shine, I just do. I don’t have to think about releasing energy, I just do. It is my purpose, this is why I am here. Sometimes a cloud will pass me by and block my light, but I don’t worry too much about that because I know that it will pass. Sometimes a storm will come and rain on my parade, but this too shall pass, because I am like the sun, I am here for this reason and everyday I will rise to my purpose and every night I will rest in the peace of knowing that I have served the world as best as I know how.
Living my life in the peace of knowing that I am here to serve.
Written By: Tammy Murphy