I’m amazed at how rewarding it feels to just be real, no cover ups, no pretenses, just 100% real. After a lifetime of shame and avoiding everything I find it liberating to exhale and release the weight of EVERYTHING from my shoulders. Everything that people would say, everything that I didn’t want people to know, everything I was wrong about, all my mistakes, all my sadness and just the general need for the world around me to approve. I mean approval is nice, we all think so… its comforting to know that there are smiles coming your way and not aggression or anger. I wonder though, what is the expense that we are willing to pay to receive this acceptance and sense of safety through the recognition and approval of others?
At some point I had to realize that everybody lives for themselves, their own personal growth and their own agenda. Which is natural, I get that. Why then, do we place our future in the hands of others? Its important to realize that your life is your priority, and their lives are theirs and so the decisions you make for your own life should not fall in the hands of anybody else but you. It’s difficult though to release yourself from the mindset of stability through others because we have been raised to believe that a stable job and being dependent on an employer is the way to success. My generation is one that struggles with releasing ourselves to the mercy of our own strategies and plans. We prefer the cushion of 9 to 5 stability and being submissive to a person that is regarded as our boss, who gets to tell us what to do, when to do it and how to do it. This relieves us from the need to even think for ourselves, do what you are told and you will get your paycheck. I feel like its a generation trapped in the minset of oppression, where freedom of thought is frowned upon.
It was difficult for me to break free of this mindset. Where I needed to be told what to do, how to do it, where to go and how quickly it needed to be done. I had reached a point of no return where the person I truly was needed to be freed from the person I was trying to be. In fact I still struggle to completely free myself from the chains of my mind. One thing I have managed though is to take the control of my thoughts and to guide them in the direction I choose, not the direction the world chooses.
Living my life being real!
Written by: Tammy Murphy
Photo Cred: Kyle Woodenberg Photography