I finally did a photo shoot. My own shoot, no hiding behind my friends. Just me and the camera, staring into the depths of my being. One of the steps towards growing into myself; mainly because it falls under one of my greatest fears. It really feels like that camera is judging you and expects amazing things to happen while its snapping away. Lean forward, arm up shoulder forward, the more uncomfortable you are the better the picture, smile, breathe , look like you are enjoying yourself.. sheesh … its alot. But I did it, I overcame my fears I did the shoot and the reward will be the freedom to look into my self and reaslise that no matter what, if all is good with my soul, then all is good everywhere.
Its amazing how vulnerable you can feel when the spotlight is on you and the task ahead is way out of your comfort zone. Almost naked, but not quite naked. Free, but afraid. Like everything though, with time and practice, the fear falls away, the self awareness falls away and given enough time its possible to find yourself in a place of ease and comfort, where who you are truly comes through naturally. Or maybe I was lucky to have an amazing photographer who patiently talked me through every step and made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even when I clumsily stumbled through my nerves at first.
Its true that I really dont have to do everything alone. It really is a better world when you have people to share it with and people to help you through. Each step I take is a step towards freeing myself literally from myself and learning to love myself, just as I am. Finding perfection in all my imperfections and truly embracing myself and all my quircky ways. I am blessed to have a handful of people that I call friends that I can lean on and trust to share myself with. Looking to the future there definately is plenty of room in my life for more and shutting out change and progress is a thing in my past.
Live your life in awe of beauty!
Writen By: Tammy Murphy
Photo Cred: Kyle Woodenberg Photography