If I am true to my self then all will fall into place.
This is what I have been trying to keep in track with in order to create change and to align myself with the purpose I was created for. Its not an easy process this I will admit, especially when the damage done by years and layers of negative thinking and destruction needs to be peeled off layer by layer in order to create a clear space for you to work with. It’s in those clear spaces , those quiet moments, when you take the time to breathe and to focus on the path you choose now (rather than the path you have been blindly following) where you find your true self and your true inspiration.
It has taken me a very long time to be OK with not fitting in. I realize that fitting in means following and my true nature is not one that follows. My nature is more one that leads and nurtures. I have become content and at peace with who I am and where I am. As I make the changes to myself, I find fitting in to be something I don’t crave anymore.
This weekend at the Salsa functions, where once all I wanted was to belong and to fit in to the crowd and with the dancers, I found myself happy with the choices I had made. The connections I have made are real ones and the friendships (though few) are authentic. Even though I am not on the dance floor to every song and am not the girl in popular demand, I find the dances that I do have I truly enjoy and the people that I dance with are people that I can connect with. Dancing is 2 souls connecting and moving in harmony with each other and when you feel that connection it makes the dance that much more worth it. As opposed to being subjected to dancers who are more concerned with their appearance and how good they are, than the enjoyment of the dance. Not every one is going to be on the level you are on , but everyone is there to enjoy the experience and let their hair down.
Dancing Salsa and Kizomba has taught me that in order to be one I have to allow another to lead, it shows me that if the partner connects with you and you allow him to lead then the flow of the dance becomes beautiful. If I do not let my guard down and allow him to lead then we lose the connection and lose the ability to dance gracefully. It takes a strong person to let down their guard, even just for a moment to allow another person to lead, and there has to be a certain level of trust not only in the leader, but in yourself. Creating a balance, where I am able to (even just for a moment) let go of everything and just be led, releasing me from the voice that tells me that I always have to be in control and allowing me to be free.
I love dancing, whether it is jumping around in the kitchen with my daughter or salsa on a dance floor filled with people much more talented than I am. Because when I dance I am free, and if I am free, I am happy. Happiness in these doses eventually leads to joy. Nobody has the power to take this from me , unless I allow them and thankfully I am so deeply rooted in my peace and my journey that my freedom from all that once bound me can never be taken away.
Don’t let the limitations and expectations of others stop you from being true. Always remember that you are not here for them, you are here for you and if they cannot understand you or accept you as you are , then they ( whoever they are) do not deserve a place in your life.
Live your life in peace and joy.