Comfort in uncomfortable places

Charmel Bush;;)

My greatest challenge so far is the struggle I found myself in trying to escape my comfort zone. You see when comfort settles in we become dependent on it relying on our comfort for all things. When someone enters your world and rips the rug out from under your feet and totally disrupts your comfort zone it is so disorientating that many don’t know how to cope with a new reality and do everything within their power to find their way back to their comfort zone.

From my experience a comfort zone is never a good thing. Many that have lived their lives in pain are so used to the pain that they find themselves not being able to live without pain. They reject happiness they reject love even though deep within their beings they crave for these things.  A place that you are familiar with and know how to cope with, a place that blocks out everything that encourages growth. It’s a coping mechanism that helps those that need a lifeline to hold onto what they have in the fear of losing more.

I found comfort in keeping people at an arm’s length away; you see it’s truly difficult to allow new people into your heart when at every turn of your existence the only thing this has taught you is that new people bring pain. Friends break your confidence, boys break your heart, people leave, people die and even strangers will rob you of what is yours. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Well it actually is! It’s like living a nightmare every day of your life, fighting to stay as far away from life as you possibly can while also trying to fight the negative thoughts that you are saying to yourself along the way.

When you know no better it’s truly not your fault. It’s the fault of your circumstances. But when you know better you have to do better. When you know that your comfort zone is slowly killing your soul you have to do all that is in your power to find a way out. It’s your duty, your responsibility to pull yourself out of the comfortable pit that you find yourself in; easier said than done? Yes I know, comfort can be addictive because what we know is always so much easier than what we don’t know. What we don’t know can be so scary, BUT… if you stay where you are and you will surely die just where you are. You have to fight the fight that many are trying to win, you have to lo


ok for ways that you can relate to, ways that resonate with you, read a book , but if you don’t like to read a book watch a speaker, listen to a story, go to your place of worship, find some guidance, ask a friend, be a friend, look around you, if you look for a way out, a way out will find you… but if you keep your eyes closed in your darkness then you will never find your light. Open your eyes, look for a way out never stop looking, no matter how long it takes, no matter how crazy you seem to others, no matter how little they understand of your fight, of your journey. Keep looking, you WILL find what you are looking for in ways that you never thought possible. When you look for your way out, your way out will find you!


Don’t give up on yourself, believe that you can do more; you can be more-; that you are more. You are who you say you are, so say something beautiful to yourself about yourself every day , no matter what your circumstances are no matter how painful it may be. Challenge yourself to find the light inside yourself every single day.


Written by: Tammy Murphy


Published by TL Murphy

Daughter , mother, writer, speaker of life.

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